We are standing in a circle around a fire on a cliff overlooking the rough ocean of the East coast. I am here to burn shit…the shame of things that I have done, the guilt of things that I have not, the fears and the loneliness. I have written them all on a piece of paper and I am throwing them into the fire.
The winds are high this evening and it feels like Canadian summer because I am wearing light long pants and a sweater for the first time since I have been in Barbados. The clouds obscure the moon, but that is why we are here, to use the energy of the full moon and the winter solstice to inspire new beginnings.
In the summer, with Gay from www.gongbathsbarbados, I attended a ceremony in the Animal Flower Caves. As the gong sounded and reverberated through the caves, a tear ran down my check in gratitude for the perspectives that Barbados has given me. The sound of the gong here through the forest has a similar effect, although this time it is the realization that everything that I need is here. If I keep space in my heart for it.
Emotionally, it has been a rough couple of weeks. The details are irrelevant. What matters are those in my life who have filled me back up. As I lay on the ground on my yoga mat, these are the scenes that flash through my mind:
- Tristan, Luca, and Kian running towards me as I pass through the door of the South Africans apartment, showing me their latest creations and sharing their newfound knowledge.
- Jamie saying “Aww” and giving me a kiss and a hug.
- Lorena listening patiently as I sob and then reaching across the table for my hand.
- Kate paddling up to me on the water with a big smile and her greeting, “Hi lovely.”
- Erin, on the way to Brighton market, coaching me to write what I now call “release letters.”
I have big hopes for 2022 and am letting myself dream. No more setting my expectations low because I think this is the only way that they will be met. I didn’t sell everything and uproot to live an average life. I am here to realize how extraordinary it can be. Are you with me? It doesn’t have to be a traveler experience and can be done anywhere your heart is.
What do you think of the power of ceremony in getting rid of old stuff and making way for the new?