For as long as I can remember I have felt tortured by Valentine’s Day. I continued to do so as an expat in a country that seemingly does not care about this tradition. I had to look up the origin of Valentine’s Day because I have no idea why we do this to ourselves. Apparently, it celebrates a Christian martyr Saint Valentine who lived in the third century. In the 14th and 15th centuries it became associated with romantic love.
Life on the island of Barbados is simpler. This is due, in part, to being less commercialized than North America. At home in Canada, one celebration gives way to the next in the “seasonal” isle of the grocery store, pharmacy, and department stores. It starts in the fall with Hallowe’en (isn’t a thing here). Then comes Christmas, and as soon as that is over and the sales have cleared out the Xmas decorations, the shelves are filled with Valentine’s candy. Then there is Easter. Luckily, the North American summer brings a need for barbecues, patio furniture and beach wares that can take up these spaces when there are no pagan celebrations.
This doesn’t take place in Barbados. Part of it is the high duties to bring in items to the island, which reduces selection monumentally. This makes things straight forward. The grocery stores sell food, and the pharmacies sell drugs. There is a smattering of home supplies, suntan lotion, and junk food, but certainly no seasonal candy and decorations isle.
My sister sent this to me years ago and it continues to be one of my favorites ; )
The other factor is that people don’t spend their money on decorations and candy. They spend their time with family on Christmas and Easter. The grocery stores go crazy around these times because to have a meal with loved ones is the way of celebration, and they go all out.
The restaurants on the island were full today (although, so was Chefette). People continue to feel the pressure to show their love to their significant other on this one day. I am not judging them because, I know even if it is not logical, I would be over the moon if a significant other had thought ahead to make a reservation for us to have dinner together on Valentine’s Day.
I have written often about letting go of rules and societal norms. It becomes difficult when we are programmed in ways that we don’t even realize. When I was a little girl, I loved Valentine’s Day. It was an exciting day, and I kept my valentines for years. When did my thoughts shift to one of dread? I am not sure, but I suspect it was when peer pressure told me that my worth was less if I didn’t have a boyfriend.
I am not saying a version of this doesn’t happen here. There are ways that this society make women feel less worthy without a man. However, I have not heard nor seen any ads for Valentine’s Day. It is not being actively advertised, and yet I felt shitty about the day approaching anyways. So, what is this about?
Jen and I at Castaways for dinner, on the same deck that we practiced yoga in the morning.
We began our day at Castaways practicing yoga on the outdoor patio overlooking the ocean.
I decided to play this day differently. Someone did think ahead and invited me to dinner. Jen, my lovely yoga instructor, asked me to join her for a friendship Valentine’s dinner, getting us an early reservation because she knows the owner. We dressed up and had an amazing time. The food, the company, and the atmosphere at Castaways was memorable, in that I will always remember this evening.
I spent the day as an excuse to tell everyone in my life how much they are loved. If you do not get a personal message from me, consider yourself hugged!
Over to you: What are the ways that you are affected by the programming of your childhood or your society that you may not have realized? Have you been able to look at that and decide to “do it differently?”